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June 15 - June 17
The
Day I Saw the Toilet Guy (and other days, too)
I've lost track of what day of the week it is. What a
glorious feeling.
June 15th was what Chu-Wan calls a "Raining Day, Sleeping
Day." The weather was spotty all day with outbreaks of downpours, so we spent a
lot of time at home just napping.
 Late morning we went shopping
for computer parts, since prices and exchange rates are very favorable right
now, but didn't buy anything. In the late afternoon, we finally made our way to
Hsimending where later in the evening, Hong Kong movie and signing superstar
Andy Lau was going to be having a "Give me 10" event. Apparently, people could
line up and slap hands with Andy. Chu-Wan is a big fan, but none of her
girlfriends were willing to go - they all said they were too old.
Indeed, as we headed towards Hsimending, the trains were
spilling out with schoolgirls heading over immediately after school, despite
being several hours until the event.
There was no way I was going to stand with Chu-Wan and a
thousand Chinese schoolgirls for 3+ hours, but I decided I'd make sure she got
over to at least see him. Besides not wanting to stand in line, it was obvious
that the sky was going to open up and really let loose soon.
We barely made it home before it did just that. The
torrential downpour lasted 2 hours. After which we headed back to Hsimending,
arriving at 7:20. Andy came on stage moments after we arrived and he sang a
couple of songs, to the delight of the crowd. Sadly, not wanting to ruin my
good camera, I didn't bring it, instead taking the old one - which, from our
vantage point really didn't yield good results, but we saw him.
Andy was in fact making a pitch for people not to engage in
music piracy, and only people who had a legit copy of his new CD could stand in
line and "give him 10." Already having his music at home, Chu-Wan wasn't about
to buy another copy just to stand in the long line and so we headed out.
The next day we discovered that a light fell on stage after
we left, injuring and burning a few people, so perhaps it was for the best
after all that she didn't stand in line.
Although not well known in the west, I've enjoyed several of
Andy Lau's films and was glad I got the chance to see him in person. Pity it
wasn't Jackie Chan, though. I've missed him by 1 week on three of my trips to
Taiwan.
On the way back, I did something that I knew I shouldn't do
beforehand, but some form of sick compulsion made me do it. We stopped into a
Mexican food restaurant near the house. I've seen this place at least on my
last two trips and knew it couldn't be authentic, but, it was still
there after 2 years, they must be doing something right, right? Wrong. The
Sante Fe Cafe was really bad. To their credit, they tried. They had the menu
items, they even had real refried beans - where they got those, I couldn't
imagine. Western style beans are not popular in Taiwan, let alone refried ones.
My "chimichanga" consisted of a Peking Duck wrapper (which
is similar to a tortilla in appearance, if nothing else) wrapped around a
mixture of refried beans, spiced with - I'm guessing - packaged taco seasoning
- again I couldn't imagine where they got them from and a few chunks of
chicken. Form right, but execution flawed. Chu-Wan had "chicken fajitas", which
was an ordinary Chinese stir fry, using some form of salsa. She couldn't eat
it.
I'm sorry to report no good Mexican food in Taiwan that I've
yet to find.
 June 16th we headed up to Tamshui to visit Mr. and Mrs. Huang 2's
new home. (See my previous travelogues for the confusing time we have with all
the people named Huang around this place - suffice to say Chu-Wan's parent's
(Mr. and Mrs. Huang) are close friends with Mr. and Mrs. Huang (who, for
convenience I refer to as Mr. and Mrs. Huang 2.))
Apart from Chu-Wan's parent's home - which is also Operation
De-Handicap, I have never been inside another Taiwanese residence, and I really
didn't know what to expect. I did know that Operation De-Handicap makes their
home a very large residence by Taiwanese standards. Although I've never
measured it, my guess is that it is just shy of 2,000 square feet, making it an
average 3 bed-room sized home back in Arizona.
Mr. and Mrs. Huang 2's home is what we'd call a high-rise
condominium, and it is very nice indeed. The building has all the amenities of
a deluxe "club" - weight and exercise room, indoor lap pool, spa, sauna,
restaurant, ping pong, playground, activity center, movie theatre, library and
24 hour a day security. Their home itself was custom built for them and has
every convenience.
What amazed me was its size. The entire home for 3 people (2
bedrooms) is about 15'X15' and has been split into two levels, with a study and
one bedroom on the top. The whole space is about 10' tall, and split into 2
levels, the upper floor is too short from me to stand up in.
I was really amazed at how much nice stuff could be packed
into such a small space.
One thing of curious note: Chu-Wan went to their restroom
and when she returned, she told me they had a picture of Andy Lau on their
toilet. I hadn't noticed such a picture, but, to be quite honest, I often
mistake other people for Andy Lau.
In the past few days, we'd watched two Hong Kong movies,
both coincidentally Andy Lau films (Drunken Master III and Future Cops), and I
spent my time pointing at people going, "That's Andy Lau, right?" (Although I'm
often joking, I'm often not - a lot of actors have the same look.)
On my next trip to the restroom, I made it a point to look
for Andy's picture. It turns out he's the HCG toilet guy. HCG is the company
that seems to make 90% of all the toilets and urinals in Taiwan. During one of
HCG's promotions, Andy Lau was their spokesman, because of a song who sang
about someone whose best friend is a toilet. His picture has been staring at me
from 100s of urinals. I never realized who it was, but every time I go to the
restroom and see his picture staring back at me, I think to myself, "You know,
with as low as they put these urinals, I could just as easily piss on this guy
as in the urinal."
I've always thought of it as an ill-conceived ad campaign,
and now I'll never be able to watch another Andy Lau film without thinking of
him as the "toilet guy."
Afterwards, Chu-Wan and I went to the last stop along the
Tamshui subway line and walked along the shore and looked at all the hawkers
along the waterfront. On my first trip to Taiwan, this is where I spent my last
day, watching them prepare for the Dragonboat festival the next week. Now the
Dragonboat festival is again week away but no one was on the water practicing,
but the place was packed nonetheless.
They have a new weird food this year, hot dog on a stick -
except that the "stick" is a chicken bone or beef rib. I haven't worked up the
courage to try one yet - I can't help wondering where they get the bones and
how they are cleaned off.
Lots of people were flying kites, and Chu-Wan bought one
from a vendor. I've flown a kite before, but it usually involved lots of
running and fighting to keep it aloft. I turned my back to get the camera out
and Chu-Wan literally held the kite out while I wasn't looking and it was up
and away, soaring over the park. It's surprisingly easy when you have a steady
sea breeze to rely on. We flew the kite until it was too dark and returned
home.
June 17, Chu-Wan had plans with friends and so I took off on
my own in search of adventure - or at least something new and different. On the
previous day, we had tried to visit the mangrove forest (read: swamp) but it
was closed - at least the entrance area we tried. I had noticed that one of the
maps at the stations nearby the Huang 2's home had showed a large park area
next to the station.
The station I'd identified was the Kuandu station. I'd never
stopped there before, so when I arrived I took a long look at the lay of the
land - according to the station map. The station has a front entrance and a
very small back entrance. According to the map, outside the back is a school
and a large park. When I looked out the back, there was neither an obvious
school, nor a park in sight. Instead, just homes and more homes.
 I
scoped out the front, but it matched the map of the front, so I headed out the
back. I took a solid bearing with the GPS, just in case, because I found myself
in a maze of small streets, and among people who, although friendly (to their
credit, they are always friendly) looked at me like I was really lost. I knew
that with the GPS I could backtrack myself to the station no matter where I
went. I walked and I walked, but I never found a park, or even an area that
might remotely be represented as "green" on a map.
I did top a rise and find myself standing on the front steps
of an army base face to face with the armed guards. I've always found ending up
at military bases to be a rather unsettling experience. Being scrutinized by
armed guards with automatic rifles isn't the most fun at the best of time. In
this case, I was an obvious foreigner, carrying both a large camera and a
satellite tracker. Under the circumstances I was not ready for the response I
got.
The guards, who were standing rather slack at either side of
the gate saw me, sat their rifles to the side, starting grinning and waving
inanely and shouting "Hello!" and "How are you?"
Never in a million years did I expect that.
Even though I couldn't find my destination, I kept getting a
tantalizing glimpse of the river and I tried to head that direction, but the
streets just didn't cooperate with me. Farther and farther I kept getting from
the station, up and down steep hills. Finally, I reached the point where I said
to myself, "After this next corner, if I don't find something interesting, I'll
turn back."
Around the next corner was the next train station - Chuwei.
What luck! I wasn't looking forward to the walk back to the other station.
Instead, stubborn as ever, I took the subway back to Kuandu and tried again,
this time trying the front exit.
The front exit put me into some form of industrial park, and
after walking less than a 100 meters, I realized I was alone on the streets in
the first non-residential area I'd ever encountered in Taipei. I was carrying a
lot of cash and when I saw people sleeping on the sidewalks ahead of me, I
decided it might be prudent to return and give up.
It was past lunchtime now and I decided to procure food at
the first place I ran across that I felt I could likely negotiate the purchase
successfully with what Chinese skills I have.
I took a side train to Hsin Peitou, which is starting to
head up into the mountains around Yangminshan. Oddly enough, or perhaps sadly
enough, McDonald's was the first restaurant I saw, so I headed over.
I was in luck! The cashier who helped didn't speak English
and I successfully ordered my food, got it and paid for it entirely in Chinese.
(And I wasn't just pointing at the menu, either.) The only thing I didn't get
right was getting the extra big soft drink and fries. She didn't ask, and I
refused to do the easy thing and just point to the sign that shows how
inexpensive it is to upsize your meal. I couldn't say it, so I wasn't going to
order it. As far as I was concerned it was still a complete and smashing
success. I even asked one of the employees what floor the restroom was on, even
though I could easily read the sign.
Feeling quite proud of myself, I started cramming my food
down at McDonald's speeds. (The faster you eat, the quicker the pain is over.)
Suddenly something occurred to me: It was a hot, humid day and I'd been walking
for kilometers. I had virtually no timetable, and no where in particular to be.
I was starving, but I was sitting in an air-conditioned building, with a nice
view of the mountains. I decided to slow down and relax for an hour.
It's coming up on finals week in Taiwan, and all the
McDonald's are packed with students. Apparently, it's not uncommon for groups
of them to descend on McDonald's, drink a soda and sit for hours to study. It's
a lot more peaceful than studying at home or at the library. That seemed
unlikely considering the overwhelming din in all restaurants. I would never
occur to me to go to a fast food restaurant and park myself for several hours
to study.
Relaxed, refreshed, re-energized (and deafened) I sat out
again, this time walking around the Hsin Peitou area. I really didn't do
anything, but there were several green parks in walking distance, so I took
them in and sat in the shade here and there, just soaking up the atmosphere.
 Part of the atmosphere that I didn't want to soak up
was the coming monsoon storm. This one looked like it was going to be another
big one and I decided I'd better head back to Taipei proper before I got caught
out in it.
I still had an hour to kill before meeting Chu-Wan, so I
decided to poke around the area around the Taipei Main Train Station. The
camera stores are in that area, so I knew the area fairly well, but somehow I
came out of the underground in a place I was totally unfamiliar with. I had an
exciting few minutes in a pouring rain and lightening storm trying to get my
bearings. I was painfully aware that the umbrella I was using was a natural
lightening rod and so I finally gave up and headed back into the underground
station rather than risk death by umbrella electrocution. I waited out the
storm and headed for my next destination.
I met Chu-Wan at Monster Taipei, her uncle's toy shop and my
favorite place in town (except maybe Round Table Pizza). Here I spent money
while she visited, and then we returned to pack for the next day's big trip.
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